Had a great day today researching genealogy at the DAR Library. The worst part was traffic, of course. Washing D.C. is laid out in such a strange way. The history behind it's planning is fascinating, but traveling it, not so much.
It is so much fun looking into your past and finding out about the people before you. My youngest son wants to be in the water ALL the time. Turns out my husband came from a very long line of boating fishermen. It makes you wonder how many traits really are in that strain of DNA aside from your hair and eye color.
Sometimes you get lucky and find out that you are related to someone famous, or someone who made a noticeable impact in their community. And then you run across those people who have seemingly left no stamp at all on the world.
Women stand out most of all to me. The men can normally be found on at least a transaction document having to do with land or jury duty. Many women cannot even be connected to their maiden names!
Those women are the ones that really make me think. What was their day to day like? I look to see how many children they had and how long they lived. Even though a paper trail cannot prove the impact they left on this world, we at least know they led to you. Were they frail? faithful? before their time? The world may never know. How did they feel about themselves?
So what impact are you making on your world? You might believe that you have no impact at all. I can assure you that is not the case. If you are reading this post it is because God led you here so I could share with you a different perspective.
Even when you were a child, you touched the hearts and souls of others without intending to. Have you ever had your day brightened just by seeing a smiling baby? You were that bright spot for others once. Many, many others.
Someone is always watching you, just as you are watching others. They have unspoken fears and insecurities and worries too. We all do. It all serves a purpose. Everything. The good, the bad, the ugly and the downright heartbreaking.
Have you ever been feeling down, and I mean way down? Beaten up by the world, like everything is out to get you. Then you see or hear about someone who has it a little worse, or something you feel like you could never handle. "At least I'm not as bad off as that." has been a thought that goes through our heads every once in a while. So the next time you are having a 'Murphy's Law' day, giggle to yourself when it occurs to you that you may be the one someone else sees and thinks to themselves "At least I'm not as bad off a that."
When you question God and say "WHY ME?", realize it may not be for or about you at all. It may be for the person who needs to see that someone has it worse than them so THEY can change THEIR perspective. God uses it all. It's not always fun, but it's true.
Like most people I had dreamed of making a memorable impact on this earth. Something of real value. Understanding that I have some kind of impact on others every single day of my life has made me rethink how I define value. I don't have to change the world. I only have to do my part.
Little by little and step by step I aim to improve myself. Instead of feeling like a failure when everything seems to go wrong, I will now have the faith that God is using those painful situations for His purposes. My search for perfectionism and earning the reward of 'Super Mom' no longer interests me. I can now stop beating myself up for perceived failures and be thankful that God is using me no matter what. Even if I leave no paper trail. Even if no one remembers my maiden name. I am here to do what He sent me to do, whatever that is.
Life is a journey and the road has numerous curves. Stop trying to straighten it out and just enjoy the ride. You are serving your purpose. You are leaving the stamp you were born to make. History will do what it wants to do with us. Let's live in the NOW and stop worrying about the future so much.
Sometimes being known for something is overrated. Betsy Ross is well known for something she didn't even do!
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